A Glossary for the Nineties: Chapter 4 - Politics and diplomacy
[Taken from A Glossary for the Nineties, by David Rowan (Prion Books, 1998), based on the column of that name in The Guardian's Weekend magazine through most of the 1990s. © David Rowan]
CHAPTER 4: POLITICS AND DIPLOMACY
The jargon of high politics, and the slang of alternative politics
ADHOCRACY n. The Clinton administration's way of working: based on a kitchen cabinet that is loosely organised around an influential inner circle. Coined by Roger Porter, an adviser to President Bush, it's now increasingly seen by critics as the cause of the president's naive decision-making.
ASTROTURF CAMPAIGN n. An apparent grass-roots campaign for a law, a reform or a political candidate. Apparent? That's because the "grass roots" behind those heartfelt petitions and mail-outs are as phoney as the vested interests deceptively behind them. Citizens for a Greener Region, for instance, might well be a front for a nice little nuclear-reprocessing outfit . . .
BIMBO ERUPTION n. That annoying tendecy within modern American politics, just when the president appears to have mastered his domain and honed his message to perfection, for an ex-lover to come on the scene and balls everything up. Bill Clinton's own campaign HQ identified the tendency in 1992, since when we've got to know Paula, Gennifer, Monica and a few other lovelies . . .
BIO SPOT n. The advertising equivalent to a soundbite for politicians seeking a new image. Bio spots are booked on TV to keep viewers' minds off those tedious policy issues. But fishing and smiling? That's different.
BLAIR sl. v. To humiliate or mock someone. Further proof that there has indeed been a Blairite revolution, this one acknowledged in the latest Bloomsbury Dictionary Of Slang (qv Tony Blairs).
BLAIRISM n. A mode of speech in the style of Tony Blair. It's quite simple to imitate, too. Here, try our mix-and-match instant Blairism template: just choose a word from each column, and you can write speeches just like the great leader. Easy, huh?
"I have been absolutely clear when I have said that the . . .
COLUMN 1 COLUMN 2 COLUMN 3
New People Decency
Modern Contract Responsibility
People's Family . . . will be constructed with . . . A will to win
Key Community Opportunity
Decent Modernisation Humility
Young Enterprise Decency
Core Citizen Aspiration
Reborn Millennium Vision . . ."
BLIND TRUST n. pol. Not the misguided faith that some voters place in their elected leaders, but the secret funds that help get the politicians elected to positions of power in the first place. Whoever said you can't buy trust?
CAMCORDISTA n. A media-alert, modern-day protester - found in such places as the M41's fast lane and Brazilian rainforests - who uses a video camera to record documentary-style footage that can be shown to a wider public. Cited in the Ham & High newspaper, the description combines the camcorder and the radicalism of the Sandinistas.
CHERRYADE n. sl. An assistant of Cherie Booth, the prime minister's wife, according to the political hacks' latest phrase. Why? "They are red, sweet and fizzing with ideas," as the Daily Telegraph put it. They particularly dislike being known as "spin doctresses", a slightly uglier new coinage. New verbiage for a new Britain.
CHOCOLATE SOLDIER n. sl. A sycophantic political adviser, in the current slang among journalists, pressure groups and even a few politicians. A full appreciation of its origin requires an understanding of the verb to brown-nose - to agree (usually with a superior) to such an unqualified extent that one might be accused of arse-kissing, or even arse-licking. The colour scheme now clearly established, you should be able to work out that the chocolate in question is not of the highest taste.
CLINDECISION n. As the Economist defines it, a political decision or appointment, not necessarily the right one, which is put off for as long as possible. The result: big headaches for decider, appointee and country.
COCKEREL n. A nefarious western agitator who dares annoy one of Asia's less popular dictatorships. For, according to Burma's/Myanmar's London embassy, "the seeds of mistrust and false allegations" are being disseminated by "certain cockerels in the West". We think they mean human-rights investigators.
COMMON GROUND n. Bill Clinton's buzzword of the political season. Think of centrism, community, togetherness - and, necessarily, stop yourself thinking about the political gridlock (qv) and public discontent that are the more visible signs of his presidency.
COMMUNITY n. The favourite vacuous phrase of the mid-90s politician. Long after the community charge and care in the community were discredited, upstanding Members were still speaking absurdly on behalf of the drug-injecting community and the heterosexual community. Gee, both groups' community meetings must be fun.
CONNEXITY n. That favourite term of New Labour policy wonks (qv) . The leading wonk Geoff Mulgan, of the Demos think-tank, defines it as the idea that societies evolve from dependence on tradition and hierarchy. The senior New Labour wonk Anthony Giddens gets even more obtuse: he likes talking about social reflexivity , his view that in a "post-traditional order" people filter, and react to, increasingly large and complex amounts of information. And they wonder why young people don't vote . . .
COOF n. acr. A retired MP who does the rounds of the speculative television and panel discussions at around the time of an election. "We want to be known as the coofs," explained Denis Healey, who coined the term in 1992. "That's Clapped Out Old Farts..."
DEAD-CAT BOUNCE n. Originally City slang, it's now being heard in political circles to describe terminally sick parties or policies that falsely appear to have a future. Why? Throw a dead cat out of a window and when it hits the ground it still appears to jump. (See also dead mouse bounce.)
DEFACTOS n. pl. New way to describe dictators. When the US started co-operating with Haiti's ruling junta, Bill Clinton stopped calling them dictators. Instead, they were the de facto leadership, or "the defactos". Far less likely to resemble double standards.
DE-TARGET euph. To keep your nuclear missiles. Boris Yeltsin at one stage confused this term with "dismantle", but a Kremlin aide quickly clarified its meaning - though Russia's missiles will no longer be pre-programmed to strike at its new friends in the West, they will still be kept in one piece.
DISORGANISATION n. An unstructured protest group of the mid-nineties, without the leadership of a conventional organisation. Want to join one of the loose coalitions such as Justice?, fighting road-building and criminal-justice laws? Don't expect to fill in an application form.
DISSEMBLE v. A word whose definition David Willetts is no longer in want of. Willetts, the MP who claimed the verb "want" did not actually mean "want" (the explanation gets rather complicated if you go into it any deeper), has now been informed by an official report that he was in fact dissembling. Now, in our dictionary, that means concealing or being insincere, but he may say different.
DOG-ON-A-ROPE adj. How the well-dressed new age protester is being described these days: as in "many [of the M65 road agitators] were familiar dog-on-a-rope travellers" (the Times). First, though, you have to catch your dog.
DOUGHNUT v. A television term popularised by the filming of House of Commons debates. It is the habit displayed by MPs of encircling whoever is talking, so that the party appears to be out in force. The result: a ring of doughy creatures fills the screen.
DOUGLAS n. A third-class university degree - after former Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd, whose name in the nineties became rhyming slang for "third". The Douglas replaced the Thora across British campuses, as the ageing actress Thora Hird became less familiar; but a Desmond, however, proved a survivor. That eponym came to signify a lower second-class degree, or a 2:2. Need we explain the link to the Archbishop Desmond Tutu?
EASTERN EUROPE n. A region that doesn't exist. The US State Department has instructed embassies never to use the phrase, as the East/West division is over. So eastern Europe, now "central Europe", has gone west.
ELECTRONIC TOWN MEETING or ETM n. A recent trend in political opinion-polling, in which talk-show viewers punch into a telephone or terminal their impressions of candidates' performance. Computer-tabulated responses come up on screen in seconds. So who has room for issue-based questions?
ENDOGENOUS GROWTH n. jarg. The decade's outstanding example of political gobbledegook, uttered by Gordon Brown when shadow chancellor. We're not quite sure what he meant, but he elaborated upon it in a speech about "the growth of post neo-classical endogenous growth theory and the symbiotic relationships between growth and investment in people and infrastructure". This, the Daily Mail explained, translated as: "We have been reading some books and we still want to intervene. Oh, and we also want to go to international conferences." The Sun offered a slightly revisionist interpretation: "I hope this sounds as if I know what I'm talking about . . ."
FOLLETT v. To massage the image of an outdated institution (such as a Labour MP) and make it electable. After Barbara, the party's image consultant, whose folletting earned her the title of the "frock doctor".
FULL CLINTON n. sl. In Washington slang, a policy reversal that must be announced brazenly. A typical full clinton, according to George magazine, might be: "I've been thinking about what you said about me raising your taxes too much. You are so right." A double clinton, by the way, is a policy reversal followed by a denial that there has been any change.
GENDERMANDER v. To meddle in the electoral process so that women are put at an advantage. Women-only shortlists, for instance, were Labour's way of ensuring that a lower proportion of seats went automatically to men. A variation on gerrymander, the more established process whereby electoral boundaries are altered to one party's advantage.
GIRO GYPSY n. Those nasty scrounging types who ought to be banned from travelling around the country at the taxpayers' expense. Or so says the Daily Express, which has coined the term to replace the more quaint, less threatening "new-age travellers".
GORDON BROWN v. To dress down, particularly at a black-tie event when any exception to the dress code will be seen to be making a point. Apparently named after the Chancellor who famously wore a lounge suit to deliver a Mansion House Speech in summer 1997; part of the rebranding (qv) process that Labour is so keen on. Although most likely invented by Brown's spin-doctors to improve his image.
GREENSCAM v. To establish a supposedly grassroots environmental movement that actually represents commercial interests (qv astroturf campaign) . They have names such as the American Environmental Foundation (a Florida organisation that defends property rights) and the Global Climate Coalition (commercial interests that seek to avoid laws that would cut global warming).
GRIDLOCK n. pol. The legislative paralysis that results when governments cannot push their measures past uncooperative assemblies. George Bush's administration was particularly badly affected, before Bill Clinton too found a Republican majority in Congress stymied his plans. Named after the traffic snarl-ups in which no cars can move in any direction.
GUMMERISE v. To couch an issue in irredeemably righteous tones, designed to expose the speaker's supposed moral superiority and the relative fecklessness of the rest of society. Coined by Edward Pearce on Radio 4 and bearing some connection with John Gummer, the homily-friendly Tory former Cabinet minister.
HANDOVER n. To describe the process by which Hong Kong was transferred to Chinese sovereignty on July 1 1997 (that is, if you saw the historic event from a munificent, post-imperial British viewpoint) (cf TAKEOVER n. The same process, if you saw it all from a threatened, more anxious British viewpoint) (cf REVERSION n. The same process, if you still had to do business with China and wanted to stay on good terms). And re-education for anyone who doesn't choose their terms carefully.
HILLARY n. A woman enjoying such a successful career that her partner feels inadequate. Coined by the Wall Street Journal, which noticed that company chairmen were no longer getting the wifely support in ironing, organising dinner parties, etc.
HOT-BUTTON n., adj. A key word or idea that a politician is programmed by spinmeisters (qv) to utter at any opportunity, in order to ram home the message. No prizes for guessing that "young" and "modern" were Tony Blair's hot-button words in 1997.
INTENSIVE MULTILATERAL DISCUSSIONS euph. Talks. Formerly known, in the Northern Irish context, as proximity talks. But some prospective participants found that sort of talk unspeakable. So the phrase was talked into a longer euphemism.
LANDSLIDE n. pol. A term political pundits rapidly redefined after the 1997 Labour general-election victory. The political analyst Ivor Crewe decided that it was not enough to describe the result as a landslide and so he encouraged psephologists to use even more extreme terms such as avalanche or even wipe-out.
MAJORISM n. Mmm, bit tricky, this one. We'll go with the Shorter OED's definition: "the political and economic policies of the British Conservative politician John Major". And that's as exciting as we can go. (Boy, Thatcherism was so much easier . . .)
MARKET EXITn. Current jargon in National Health Service circles for a less celebrated aspect of the Major government's market reforms: it's what happens when hospitals close.
NEW adj. Labour's first act on winning the 1997 election was to promulgate new as the official new adjective of the new Blairite era. As the Press Assiciation's political editor, Phil Murphy, put it: "1997's been New Everything. New Labour, New Britain, New Monarchy, New Prince Charles, New Car . . ." A new adjective for a new verbiage.
NON-DEPARTMENTAL PUBLIC BODY n. The less embarrassing way to refer to a quango (qv quangoid) , as used by former Conservative minister Charles Wardle to describe the new Coal Authority - though NDPB doesn't flow off the tongue quite so smoothly as quango.
ON-MESSAGE adj. The place to be if you are a loyal policy wonk (qv): it is the obedient articulation of a political party's official line. Labour, in particular, spent the election campaign ensuring that any off-message candidate was swiftly reprimanded. Bleepers at the ready . . .
OPPOSITIONALISM n. The new -ism for those who miss socialism. It's what the Labour rebel Liz Davies denies she's shown towards her party and, as you'd guess, involves a tendency to place oneself in opposition (usually) to the moderate left. Next, no doubt, we'll have post-new-anti-oppositionalism.
PANSE (or PANSIE) n. acr. The road protester's version of the yuppie, a panse is Politically Active and Not Seeking Employment. The first indicates their prevalence 30ft up ancient trees, the latter a defiant two-fingers to the rules ordained by the benefits office. Not to be confused with PIXIES, which are panses who tend to come out at night from base camp to cause whatever disruption keeps the road at bay that much longer.
POLICY WONK n. pol. A wonk (qv) who puts his or her obsessiveness to good political use. Bill Clinton and Tony Blair made the policy wonk respectable, after surrounding themselves by these strange creatures who could find nothing likelier to induce orgasm than reading up on the minutiae of social-security spending.
POLITICIDE v. What US politicians commit when they compromise beyond the bounds of credibility. Coined in 1980, it now reappears in sentences also containing the words "Bill", "Clinton" and "bullshit".
PORTFOLIO n. A new definition is urgently needed, ever since Peter Mandelson became Minister Without Portfolio. Let's try: "something whose absence gives unprecedented power". . .
PREBUTTAL n. pol. The latest political tactic, after rebuttal and rapid rebuttal: it involves saturating reporters with facts even before something has happened. First used in Clinton's re-election campaign, where spin-doctors excelled in their prebuttal of any facts that Bob Dole had yet to utter.
PROJECT, THE n. How the workers in Tony Blair's office referred to the big plan to win the 1997 general election. It's the sort of political buzzword favoured by Gramsci and Marx; although enquiries suggest these are not the main influences here.
PUNDITOCRACY n. The people really running the world, defined by American writer Eric Alterman as the "omnipresent pontificators who make their living offering 'inside political opinions and forecasts' in the elite national media". So that's why politicians' words are so mindlessly vacuous.
QUANGOID adj. In the style of quangos, those Quasi-Autonomous Non-Governmental Organisations that occupy an oddly powerful role in our modern democracy. Funnily enough, only Guardian leaders and commentaries seem to have ever used the word in print. Although the Spectator magazine invented the ghastly noun quangoisation.
REBRAND v. To re-market a nation. In Britain's case, as defined by Tony Blair and chums, this means issuing vacuous "mission statements" and talking about a "young" or a "modern" country, and never mentioning "tradition" or "heritage". If unsure, append the word "people" before every noun you utter ("People's Princess", "People's Prime Minister", "People's Panel", "People's Banquet", etc.).
REDACT v. A new verb, part of the linguistic sophistry that has emerged from Sir Richard Scott's report into the sale of arms to Iraq. Redaction is defined in a footnote to the report as "the process whereby irrelevant - or insufficiently relevant - parts of documents ordered to be disclosed are covered up". Clear?
RESPOND POSITIVELY (TO) v. euph. One of the Labour Government's new fluff-words, used to describe aims that can never be held to be firm promises. Heard in the Queen's Speech, along with "take a leading role in" and "bring forward".
RETAIL POLITICS n. The baby-kissing, crowd-warming version of politics designed for mass public consumption. As opposed to wholesale politics, designed to appeal to a select group of more demanding customers (just as consumer goods sold wholesale are available only to qualified purchasers). Wholesale politics is typified by the more carefully rehearsed, pre-scripted television interview.
RETREAD MP n. A parliamentary candidate (usually Tory) who in 1997 sought a new seat as his or her own was being boundary-reformed out of existence. Norman Lamont, Francis Maude, Michael Fallon and John Maples were among those desperatelyly scrambling to pass the MoT.
ROAD WARRIOR n. (a.) One of that eco-tribe currently blockading a main road somewhere near you. (b.) What the travel industry supposedly calls those high-fliers who are so busy they do much of their work in departure lounges. Generally (a.) and (b.) do not mix.
SHARP EDIT n. An act of economy with the truth, even of dissembling: it is what former Cabinet secretary Jonathan Aitken admitted to making when presenting his not-quite-complete version of events in a Paris hotel one notorious weekend.
SNIGGERING CLASSES n. pl. That elaboration of the chattering classes who, in John Major's words, failed to appreciate his brilliant initiatives. Such as the Citizen's Charter. (Snigger snigger.)
SPINMEISTER n. The political spin-doctor, or news manipulator, who has excelled in the presentational craft so as to be consider a master of it. Government ministers value their spinmeisters even more than their spin-doctors.
STATE PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT COUNCIL n. euph. How the military regime in Burma/Myanmar renamed itself in late 1997, to replace that older formation, the State Law and Order Restoration Council. Sorry, guys, our dictionary still translates it as "junta" . . .
SWITCHER n. The key to the 1997 election: this was the non-Labour voter in 1992 who was persuaded to switch sides. Every Labour policy wonk talked of little else.
THATCHERESQUE adj. The latest eponym after you-know-who. Whereas Thatcherite refers to her policies, Thatcheresque is that strong leadership style apparently lacking in her successor. Sarah Hogg, for instance, has, in the Daily Mail's words, an "almost Thatcheresque positiveness and directness".
TONY BLAIRS n. sl. Those icons of high fashion more commonly known as flares. Twenty-five years ago you would not have attended a party without your Lionels; now, whatever his legacy to British politics, the man from Islington has ensured that he will live forever in the creases of the next generation's Tonys.
UNITY GAP n. The less damaging way to describe what the Tory Party has - in Jonathan Aitken's recent euphemism. In other words, a state of thorough dissension and division.
WONK n. sl. Someone who goes one stage better than a nerd. That, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is an insignificant or contemptible person, who might be conventional, affected or studious. Wonk , which became big in the mid-90s, carries the same element of unattractive swottishness, but has the benefit of putting it to good use and being in the know. Think of it as a nerd who gets dates (qv policy wonk).
XEROCRACY n. The process by which single-issue protesters - from anti-road campaigners to cyclists - take control of their own destinies by photocopying maps and leaflets. A successor to democracy.
YCDBSOYA! excl. A political acronmym that's so weak it's bound to be shortlived. Attributed to Lady Porter, the shy and retiring former head of Westminster Council, it stands for: "You Can't Do Business Sitting On Your Arse." In fact, it's so weak we're not entirely sure why it's made it into this book . . .
CHAPTER 4: POLITICS AND DIPLOMACY
The jargon of high politics, and the slang of alternative politics
ADHOCRACY n. The Clinton administration's way of working: based on a kitchen cabinet that is loosely organised around an influential inner circle. Coined by Roger Porter, an adviser to President Bush, it's now increasingly seen by critics as the cause of the president's naive decision-making.
ASTROTURF CAMPAIGN n. An apparent grass-roots campaign for a law, a reform or a political candidate. Apparent? That's because the "grass roots" behind those heartfelt petitions and mail-outs are as phoney as the vested interests deceptively behind them. Citizens for a Greener Region, for instance, might well be a front for a nice little nuclear-reprocessing outfit . . .
BIMBO ERUPTION n. That annoying tendecy within modern American politics, just when the president appears to have mastered his domain and honed his message to perfection, for an ex-lover to come on the scene and balls everything up. Bill Clinton's own campaign HQ identified the tendency in 1992, since when we've got to know Paula, Gennifer, Monica and a few other lovelies . . .
BIO SPOT n. The advertising equivalent to a soundbite for politicians seeking a new image. Bio spots are booked on TV to keep viewers' minds off those tedious policy issues. But fishing and smiling? That's different.
BLAIR sl. v. To humiliate or mock someone. Further proof that there has indeed been a Blairite revolution, this one acknowledged in the latest Bloomsbury Dictionary Of Slang (qv Tony Blairs).
BLAIRISM n. A mode of speech in the style of Tony Blair. It's quite simple to imitate, too. Here, try our mix-and-match instant Blairism template: just choose a word from each column, and you can write speeches just like the great leader. Easy, huh?
"I have been absolutely clear when I have said that the . . .
COLUMN 1 COLUMN 2 COLUMN 3
New People Decency
Modern Contract Responsibility
People's Family . . . will be constructed with . . . A will to win
Key Community Opportunity
Decent Modernisation Humility
Young Enterprise Decency
Core Citizen Aspiration
Reborn Millennium Vision . . ."
BLIND TRUST n. pol. Not the misguided faith that some voters place in their elected leaders, but the secret funds that help get the politicians elected to positions of power in the first place. Whoever said you can't buy trust?
CAMCORDISTA n. A media-alert, modern-day protester - found in such places as the M41's fast lane and Brazilian rainforests - who uses a video camera to record documentary-style footage that can be shown to a wider public. Cited in the Ham & High newspaper, the description combines the camcorder and the radicalism of the Sandinistas.
CHERRYADE n. sl. An assistant of Cherie Booth, the prime minister's wife, according to the political hacks' latest phrase. Why? "They are red, sweet and fizzing with ideas," as the Daily Telegraph put it. They particularly dislike being known as "spin doctresses", a slightly uglier new coinage. New verbiage for a new Britain.
CHOCOLATE SOLDIER n. sl. A sycophantic political adviser, in the current slang among journalists, pressure groups and even a few politicians. A full appreciation of its origin requires an understanding of the verb to brown-nose - to agree (usually with a superior) to such an unqualified extent that one might be accused of arse-kissing, or even arse-licking. The colour scheme now clearly established, you should be able to work out that the chocolate in question is not of the highest taste.
CLINDECISION n. As the Economist defines it, a political decision or appointment, not necessarily the right one, which is put off for as long as possible. The result: big headaches for decider, appointee and country.
COCKEREL n. A nefarious western agitator who dares annoy one of Asia's less popular dictatorships. For, according to Burma's/Myanmar's London embassy, "the seeds of mistrust and false allegations" are being disseminated by "certain cockerels in the West". We think they mean human-rights investigators.
COMMON GROUND n. Bill Clinton's buzzword of the political season. Think of centrism, community, togetherness - and, necessarily, stop yourself thinking about the political gridlock (qv) and public discontent that are the more visible signs of his presidency.
COMMUNITY n. The favourite vacuous phrase of the mid-90s politician. Long after the community charge and care in the community were discredited, upstanding Members were still speaking absurdly on behalf of the drug-injecting community and the heterosexual community. Gee, both groups' community meetings must be fun.
CONNEXITY n. That favourite term of New Labour policy wonks (qv) . The leading wonk Geoff Mulgan, of the Demos think-tank, defines it as the idea that societies evolve from dependence on tradition and hierarchy. The senior New Labour wonk Anthony Giddens gets even more obtuse: he likes talking about social reflexivity , his view that in a "post-traditional order" people filter, and react to, increasingly large and complex amounts of information. And they wonder why young people don't vote . . .
COOF n. acr. A retired MP who does the rounds of the speculative television and panel discussions at around the time of an election. "We want to be known as the coofs," explained Denis Healey, who coined the term in 1992. "That's Clapped Out Old Farts..."
DEAD-CAT BOUNCE n. Originally City slang, it's now being heard in political circles to describe terminally sick parties or policies that falsely appear to have a future. Why? Throw a dead cat out of a window and when it hits the ground it still appears to jump. (See also dead mouse bounce.)
DEFACTOS n. pl. New way to describe dictators. When the US started co-operating with Haiti's ruling junta, Bill Clinton stopped calling them dictators. Instead, they were the de facto leadership, or "the defactos". Far less likely to resemble double standards.
DE-TARGET euph. To keep your nuclear missiles. Boris Yeltsin at one stage confused this term with "dismantle", but a Kremlin aide quickly clarified its meaning - though Russia's missiles will no longer be pre-programmed to strike at its new friends in the West, they will still be kept in one piece.
DISORGANISATION n. An unstructured protest group of the mid-nineties, without the leadership of a conventional organisation. Want to join one of the loose coalitions such as Justice?, fighting road-building and criminal-justice laws? Don't expect to fill in an application form.
DISSEMBLE v. A word whose definition David Willetts is no longer in want of. Willetts, the MP who claimed the verb "want" did not actually mean "want" (the explanation gets rather complicated if you go into it any deeper), has now been informed by an official report that he was in fact dissembling. Now, in our dictionary, that means concealing or being insincere, but he may say different.
DOG-ON-A-ROPE adj. How the well-dressed new age protester is being described these days: as in "many [of the M65 road agitators] were familiar dog-on-a-rope travellers" (the Times). First, though, you have to catch your dog.
DOUGHNUT v. A television term popularised by the filming of House of Commons debates. It is the habit displayed by MPs of encircling whoever is talking, so that the party appears to be out in force. The result: a ring of doughy creatures fills the screen.
DOUGLAS n. A third-class university degree - after former Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd, whose name in the nineties became rhyming slang for "third". The Douglas replaced the Thora across British campuses, as the ageing actress Thora Hird became less familiar; but a Desmond, however, proved a survivor. That eponym came to signify a lower second-class degree, or a 2:2. Need we explain the link to the Archbishop Desmond Tutu?
EASTERN EUROPE n. A region that doesn't exist. The US State Department has instructed embassies never to use the phrase, as the East/West division is over. So eastern Europe, now "central Europe", has gone west.
ELECTRONIC TOWN MEETING or ETM n. A recent trend in political opinion-polling, in which talk-show viewers punch into a telephone or terminal their impressions of candidates' performance. Computer-tabulated responses come up on screen in seconds. So who has room for issue-based questions?
ENDOGENOUS GROWTH n. jarg. The decade's outstanding example of political gobbledegook, uttered by Gordon Brown when shadow chancellor. We're not quite sure what he meant, but he elaborated upon it in a speech about "the growth of post neo-classical endogenous growth theory and the symbiotic relationships between growth and investment in people and infrastructure". This, the Daily Mail explained, translated as: "We have been reading some books and we still want to intervene. Oh, and we also want to go to international conferences." The Sun offered a slightly revisionist interpretation: "I hope this sounds as if I know what I'm talking about . . ."
FOLLETT v. To massage the image of an outdated institution (such as a Labour MP) and make it electable. After Barbara, the party's image consultant, whose folletting earned her the title of the "frock doctor".
FULL CLINTON n. sl. In Washington slang, a policy reversal that must be announced brazenly. A typical full clinton, according to George magazine, might be: "I've been thinking about what you said about me raising your taxes too much. You are so right." A double clinton, by the way, is a policy reversal followed by a denial that there has been any change.
GENDERMANDER v. To meddle in the electoral process so that women are put at an advantage. Women-only shortlists, for instance, were Labour's way of ensuring that a lower proportion of seats went automatically to men. A variation on gerrymander, the more established process whereby electoral boundaries are altered to one party's advantage.
GIRO GYPSY n. Those nasty scrounging types who ought to be banned from travelling around the country at the taxpayers' expense. Or so says the Daily Express, which has coined the term to replace the more quaint, less threatening "new-age travellers".
GORDON BROWN v. To dress down, particularly at a black-tie event when any exception to the dress code will be seen to be making a point. Apparently named after the Chancellor who famously wore a lounge suit to deliver a Mansion House Speech in summer 1997; part of the rebranding (qv) process that Labour is so keen on. Although most likely invented by Brown's spin-doctors to improve his image.
GREENSCAM v. To establish a supposedly grassroots environmental movement that actually represents commercial interests (qv astroturf campaign) . They have names such as the American Environmental Foundation (a Florida organisation that defends property rights) and the Global Climate Coalition (commercial interests that seek to avoid laws that would cut global warming).
GRIDLOCK n. pol. The legislative paralysis that results when governments cannot push their measures past uncooperative assemblies. George Bush's administration was particularly badly affected, before Bill Clinton too found a Republican majority in Congress stymied his plans. Named after the traffic snarl-ups in which no cars can move in any direction.
GUMMERISE v. To couch an issue in irredeemably righteous tones, designed to expose the speaker's supposed moral superiority and the relative fecklessness of the rest of society. Coined by Edward Pearce on Radio 4 and bearing some connection with John Gummer, the homily-friendly Tory former Cabinet minister.
HANDOVER n. To describe the process by which Hong Kong was transferred to Chinese sovereignty on July 1 1997 (that is, if you saw the historic event from a munificent, post-imperial British viewpoint) (cf TAKEOVER n. The same process, if you saw it all from a threatened, more anxious British viewpoint) (cf REVERSION n. The same process, if you still had to do business with China and wanted to stay on good terms). And re-education for anyone who doesn't choose their terms carefully.
HILLARY n. A woman enjoying such a successful career that her partner feels inadequate. Coined by the Wall Street Journal, which noticed that company chairmen were no longer getting the wifely support in ironing, organising dinner parties, etc.
HOT-BUTTON n., adj. A key word or idea that a politician is programmed by spinmeisters (qv) to utter at any opportunity, in order to ram home the message. No prizes for guessing that "young" and "modern" were Tony Blair's hot-button words in 1997.
INTENSIVE MULTILATERAL DISCUSSIONS euph. Talks. Formerly known, in the Northern Irish context, as proximity talks. But some prospective participants found that sort of talk unspeakable. So the phrase was talked into a longer euphemism.
LANDSLIDE n. pol. A term political pundits rapidly redefined after the 1997 Labour general-election victory. The political analyst Ivor Crewe decided that it was not enough to describe the result as a landslide and so he encouraged psephologists to use even more extreme terms such as avalanche or even wipe-out.
MAJORISM n. Mmm, bit tricky, this one. We'll go with the Shorter OED's definition: "the political and economic policies of the British Conservative politician John Major". And that's as exciting as we can go. (Boy, Thatcherism was so much easier . . .)
MARKET EXITn. Current jargon in National Health Service circles for a less celebrated aspect of the Major government's market reforms: it's what happens when hospitals close.
NEW adj. Labour's first act on winning the 1997 election was to promulgate new as the official new adjective of the new Blairite era. As the Press Assiciation's political editor, Phil Murphy, put it: "1997's been New Everything. New Labour, New Britain, New Monarchy, New Prince Charles, New Car . . ." A new adjective for a new verbiage.
NON-DEPARTMENTAL PUBLIC BODY n. The less embarrassing way to refer to a quango (qv quangoid) , as used by former Conservative minister Charles Wardle to describe the new Coal Authority - though NDPB doesn't flow off the tongue quite so smoothly as quango.
ON-MESSAGE adj. The place to be if you are a loyal policy wonk (qv): it is the obedient articulation of a political party's official line. Labour, in particular, spent the election campaign ensuring that any off-message candidate was swiftly reprimanded. Bleepers at the ready . . .
OPPOSITIONALISM n. The new -ism for those who miss socialism. It's what the Labour rebel Liz Davies denies she's shown towards her party and, as you'd guess, involves a tendency to place oneself in opposition (usually) to the moderate left. Next, no doubt, we'll have post-new-anti-oppositionalism.
PANSE (or PANSIE) n. acr. The road protester's version of the yuppie, a panse is Politically Active and Not Seeking Employment. The first indicates their prevalence 30ft up ancient trees, the latter a defiant two-fingers to the rules ordained by the benefits office. Not to be confused with PIXIES, which are panses who tend to come out at night from base camp to cause whatever disruption keeps the road at bay that much longer.
POLICY WONK n. pol. A wonk (qv) who puts his or her obsessiveness to good political use. Bill Clinton and Tony Blair made the policy wonk respectable, after surrounding themselves by these strange creatures who could find nothing likelier to induce orgasm than reading up on the minutiae of social-security spending.
POLITICIDE v. What US politicians commit when they compromise beyond the bounds of credibility. Coined in 1980, it now reappears in sentences also containing the words "Bill", "Clinton" and "bullshit".
PORTFOLIO n. A new definition is urgently needed, ever since Peter Mandelson became Minister Without Portfolio. Let's try: "something whose absence gives unprecedented power". . .
PREBUTTAL n. pol. The latest political tactic, after rebuttal and rapid rebuttal: it involves saturating reporters with facts even before something has happened. First used in Clinton's re-election campaign, where spin-doctors excelled in their prebuttal of any facts that Bob Dole had yet to utter.
PROJECT, THE n. How the workers in Tony Blair's office referred to the big plan to win the 1997 general election. It's the sort of political buzzword favoured by Gramsci and Marx; although enquiries suggest these are not the main influences here.
PUNDITOCRACY n. The people really running the world, defined by American writer Eric Alterman as the "omnipresent pontificators who make their living offering 'inside political opinions and forecasts' in the elite national media". So that's why politicians' words are so mindlessly vacuous.
QUANGOID adj. In the style of quangos, those Quasi-Autonomous Non-Governmental Organisations that occupy an oddly powerful role in our modern democracy. Funnily enough, only Guardian leaders and commentaries seem to have ever used the word in print. Although the Spectator magazine invented the ghastly noun quangoisation.
REBRAND v. To re-market a nation. In Britain's case, as defined by Tony Blair and chums, this means issuing vacuous "mission statements" and talking about a "young" or a "modern" country, and never mentioning "tradition" or "heritage". If unsure, append the word "people" before every noun you utter ("People's Princess", "People's Prime Minister", "People's Panel", "People's Banquet", etc.).
REDACT v. A new verb, part of the linguistic sophistry that has emerged from Sir Richard Scott's report into the sale of arms to Iraq. Redaction is defined in a footnote to the report as "the process whereby irrelevant - or insufficiently relevant - parts of documents ordered to be disclosed are covered up". Clear?
RESPOND POSITIVELY (TO) v. euph. One of the Labour Government's new fluff-words, used to describe aims that can never be held to be firm promises. Heard in the Queen's Speech, along with "take a leading role in" and "bring forward".
RETAIL POLITICS n. The baby-kissing, crowd-warming version of politics designed for mass public consumption. As opposed to wholesale politics, designed to appeal to a select group of more demanding customers (just as consumer goods sold wholesale are available only to qualified purchasers). Wholesale politics is typified by the more carefully rehearsed, pre-scripted television interview.
RETREAD MP n. A parliamentary candidate (usually Tory) who in 1997 sought a new seat as his or her own was being boundary-reformed out of existence. Norman Lamont, Francis Maude, Michael Fallon and John Maples were among those desperatelyly scrambling to pass the MoT.
ROAD WARRIOR n. (a.) One of that eco-tribe currently blockading a main road somewhere near you. (b.) What the travel industry supposedly calls those high-fliers who are so busy they do much of their work in departure lounges. Generally (a.) and (b.) do not mix.
SHARP EDIT n. An act of economy with the truth, even of dissembling: it is what former Cabinet secretary Jonathan Aitken admitted to making when presenting his not-quite-complete version of events in a Paris hotel one notorious weekend.
SNIGGERING CLASSES n. pl. That elaboration of the chattering classes who, in John Major's words, failed to appreciate his brilliant initiatives. Such as the Citizen's Charter. (Snigger snigger.)
SPINMEISTER n. The political spin-doctor, or news manipulator, who has excelled in the presentational craft so as to be consider a master of it. Government ministers value their spinmeisters even more than their spin-doctors.
STATE PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT COUNCIL n. euph. How the military regime in Burma/Myanmar renamed itself in late 1997, to replace that older formation, the State Law and Order Restoration Council. Sorry, guys, our dictionary still translates it as "junta" . . .
SWITCHER n. The key to the 1997 election: this was the non-Labour voter in 1992 who was persuaded to switch sides. Every Labour policy wonk talked of little else.
THATCHERESQUE adj. The latest eponym after you-know-who. Whereas Thatcherite refers to her policies, Thatcheresque is that strong leadership style apparently lacking in her successor. Sarah Hogg, for instance, has, in the Daily Mail's words, an "almost Thatcheresque positiveness and directness".
TONY BLAIRS n. sl. Those icons of high fashion more commonly known as flares. Twenty-five years ago you would not have attended a party without your Lionels; now, whatever his legacy to British politics, the man from Islington has ensured that he will live forever in the creases of the next generation's Tonys.
UNITY GAP n. The less damaging way to describe what the Tory Party has - in Jonathan Aitken's recent euphemism. In other words, a state of thorough dissension and division.
WONK n. sl. Someone who goes one stage better than a nerd. That, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is an insignificant or contemptible person, who might be conventional, affected or studious. Wonk , which became big in the mid-90s, carries the same element of unattractive swottishness, but has the benefit of putting it to good use and being in the know. Think of it as a nerd who gets dates (qv policy wonk).
XEROCRACY n. The process by which single-issue protesters - from anti-road campaigners to cyclists - take control of their own destinies by photocopying maps and leaflets. A successor to democracy.
YCDBSOYA! excl. A political acronmym that's so weak it's bound to be shortlived. Attributed to Lady Porter, the shy and retiring former head of Westminster Council, it stands for: "You Can't Do Business Sitting On Your Arse." In fact, it's so weak we're not entirely sure why it's made it into this book . . .
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