Evening Standard: A dictionary for the Afghan war
By David Rowan
KUWAIT taught us to hunker down; the Falklands had us yomping; Vietnam gave us the search-and-destroy mission. The current crisis is no different: there's a whole new dictionary being written. So how do you cope at the dinner party?
For those who can't tell a crawl from a kill box, DAVID ROWAN offers this cut-out-and-keep guide
Blowback (sl) CIA slang for that upsetting tendency by regimes they've supported to turn hostile. Didn't they back Bin Laden against the Russians? Didn't they put Saddam into power? Some people are never grateful.
Bunker buster (sl, mil) Military slang for the huge GBU-28 bombs currently pummelling Afghanistan's caves. Well, Bin Laden's got to be in one of them.
Collateral damage (euph) A military euphemism for unplanned casualties, such as UN officials or Afghan refugees. It's also the unfortunate title of Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest movie - whose release has been indefinitely postponed. Some good, then, has come out of this war.
Crawl (n) What TV networks call the news ticker at the bottom of the screen. Popularised by CNN, it is spreading fast (allowing ITV to dominate its 11 September coverage of New York with flashes about Fergie's whereabouts).
Crusade (n) What this war was, briefly, but isn't now. The President's advisers warned him the comparison was not PR-friendly. UBL (see below) had learned that trick, previously condemning US forces in the Middle East as "crusader armies spreading like locusts".
Enduring Freedom (phr) What this operationis, but almost wasn't. It started as Infinite Justice, but Muslims were offended: only Allah can deliver that. So by what neat phrase do we know the events of 11 September? Er, "the events of 11 September".
First casualty (phr) The first cliche of war. Under the Geneva Convention, every columnist is obliged to begin at least one article with the phrase "If truth is the first casualty of war..." Eventually, the enemy can stand no more and surrenders.
FOF (n) A Friend-Of-a-Friend, who told you about the Arab who warned them not to go to Oxford Street/ Birmingham/Watford on a specific day. All urban legends need a credible enough source. So be sceptical next time you hear about an FOF.
Folks (n, pl) Terrorists, in President Bush's initial definition (as in "those folks who committed this act"). He then went on to thank "all the folks who have been fighting hard to rescue our fellow citizens", which must have really confused al Qaeda's translation department.
Hawla (n) The paperless financial network that Al Qaeda uses to transfer money abroad. Hawla, from the Hindi for "in trust", relies on handing over cash to murky strangers - rather like investing in Railtrack.
Kill boxes (n, pl) US military jargon for the special zones near Kabul and Kandahar where aircraft can shoot at any "military targets" they like. Ideally they will avoid collateral damage (qv).
MREs (mil sl) The yellow food packs being snowdropped (qv) over Afghanistan: Meals Ready to Eat, in US military slang. Soldiers dismiss them as "Meals Rejected by Ethiopians".
OMEA (adj) People "Of Middle Eastern Appearance", in the shorthand of the law-enforcers targeting them with "racial profiling". In other words, if you're dark or bearded, you're off the plane.
PsyOps (n, mil) Psychological operations - the military effort to sway hearts and minds, by dropping radios, leaflets and other propaganda tools. It's part of the military's "perceptions management" programme - the release of selective information (OK, lies) to change how the enemy is seen.
Shutter control (n, mil) The Pentagon's power to censor images from civilian satellites for "national security" reasons (eg they might show collateral damage). Last week, the US decided not to ban the pictures - instead, it simply bought them up.
Snowdropping (sl) How the UN refers to the military's food drops over Afghanistan. Snowdropping, it says, will merely lead children into minefields. Now how grateful is that for the gift of 100,000 moist towelettes?
Spin Laden (sl, pol) What Downing Street press officers are calling Bin Laden because of his PR skills. It's not known whether he used 11 September to get out anything al Qaeda wanted to bury.
Steganography (n) The hiding of secret messages within text or images such as computer graphics. It's one of the ways al Qaeda is said to be communicating. If you look very closely.
Terrorism (n) Something that does not exist, according to Reuters, which last month banned the word's use in case it offended certain groups. Apologies, then, for any offence this entry may have inadvertently caused the suicide bombers.
Targeting process error (euph, mil) What caused a US bomb to hit a residential neighbourhood in Kabul, according to a military spokesman. Collateral damage (qv), then.
UBL (n) Jack Straw's worryingly reverential shorthand for our Public Enemy Number One, who thus attains the status of a JFK or an FDR. Note his "U" for Usama, rather than the "O" the rest of us are using: thank goodness for pedantic transliteration.
(Evening Standard, October 23 2001)
KUWAIT taught us to hunker down; the Falklands had us yomping; Vietnam gave us the search-and-destroy mission. The current crisis is no different: there's a whole new dictionary being written. So how do you cope at the dinner party?
For those who can't tell a crawl from a kill box, DAVID ROWAN offers this cut-out-and-keep guide
Blowback (sl) CIA slang for that upsetting tendency by regimes they've supported to turn hostile. Didn't they back Bin Laden against the Russians? Didn't they put Saddam into power? Some people are never grateful.
Bunker buster (sl, mil) Military slang for the huge GBU-28 bombs currently pummelling Afghanistan's caves. Well, Bin Laden's got to be in one of them.
Collateral damage (euph) A military euphemism for unplanned casualties, such as UN officials or Afghan refugees. It's also the unfortunate title of Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest movie - whose release has been indefinitely postponed. Some good, then, has come out of this war.
Crawl (n) What TV networks call the news ticker at the bottom of the screen. Popularised by CNN, it is spreading fast (allowing ITV to dominate its 11 September coverage of New York with flashes about Fergie's whereabouts).
Crusade (n) What this war was, briefly, but isn't now. The President's advisers warned him the comparison was not PR-friendly. UBL (see below) had learned that trick, previously condemning US forces in the Middle East as "crusader armies spreading like locusts".
Enduring Freedom (phr) What this operationis, but almost wasn't. It started as Infinite Justice, but Muslims were offended: only Allah can deliver that. So by what neat phrase do we know the events of 11 September? Er, "the events of 11 September".
First casualty (phr) The first cliche of war. Under the Geneva Convention, every columnist is obliged to begin at least one article with the phrase "If truth is the first casualty of war..." Eventually, the enemy can stand no more and surrenders.
FOF (n) A Friend-Of-a-Friend, who told you about the Arab who warned them not to go to Oxford Street/ Birmingham/Watford on a specific day. All urban legends need a credible enough source. So be sceptical next time you hear about an FOF.
Folks (n, pl) Terrorists, in President Bush's initial definition (as in "those folks who committed this act"). He then went on to thank "all the folks who have been fighting hard to rescue our fellow citizens", which must have really confused al Qaeda's translation department.
Hawla (n) The paperless financial network that Al Qaeda uses to transfer money abroad. Hawla, from the Hindi for "in trust", relies on handing over cash to murky strangers - rather like investing in Railtrack.
Kill boxes (n, pl) US military jargon for the special zones near Kabul and Kandahar where aircraft can shoot at any "military targets" they like. Ideally they will avoid collateral damage (qv).
MREs (mil sl) The yellow food packs being snowdropped (qv) over Afghanistan: Meals Ready to Eat, in US military slang. Soldiers dismiss them as "Meals Rejected by Ethiopians".
OMEA (adj) People "Of Middle Eastern Appearance", in the shorthand of the law-enforcers targeting them with "racial profiling". In other words, if you're dark or bearded, you're off the plane.
PsyOps (n, mil) Psychological operations - the military effort to sway hearts and minds, by dropping radios, leaflets and other propaganda tools. It's part of the military's "perceptions management" programme - the release of selective information (OK, lies) to change how the enemy is seen.
Shutter control (n, mil) The Pentagon's power to censor images from civilian satellites for "national security" reasons (eg they might show collateral damage). Last week, the US decided not to ban the pictures - instead, it simply bought them up.
Snowdropping (sl) How the UN refers to the military's food drops over Afghanistan. Snowdropping, it says, will merely lead children into minefields. Now how grateful is that for the gift of 100,000 moist towelettes?
Spin Laden (sl, pol) What Downing Street press officers are calling Bin Laden because of his PR skills. It's not known whether he used 11 September to get out anything al Qaeda wanted to bury.
Steganography (n) The hiding of secret messages within text or images such as computer graphics. It's one of the ways al Qaeda is said to be communicating. If you look very closely.
Terrorism (n) Something that does not exist, according to Reuters, which last month banned the word's use in case it offended certain groups. Apologies, then, for any offence this entry may have inadvertently caused the suicide bombers.
Targeting process error (euph, mil) What caused a US bomb to hit a residential neighbourhood in Kabul, according to a military spokesman. Collateral damage (qv), then.
UBL (n) Jack Straw's worryingly reverential shorthand for our Public Enemy Number One, who thus attains the status of a JFK or an FDR. Note his "U" for Usama, rather than the "O" the rest of us are using: thank goodness for pedantic transliteration.
(Evening Standard, October 23 2001)
posted by David Rowan at Tuesday, October 23, 2001
<< Home